Ok so this weekend instead of spending all of my time getting shit faced wondering when I was going to throw up, I took the high road.
I went out on two dates this weekend. For those who are too dumb to figure out, one Friday and one Saturday.
So on Friday, I thought I would be spontaneous. I said meet me in the middle of Dundas Square and we will find a place to eat and have a drink. Turns out every place in Dundas Square is packed and you cannot get a seat to save your life. So we walked.........far......very fucking far in minus degree weather.
Suffice to say she was pissed.
So after a while we finally found an Irish Restaurant called Irish Grill and Pub. Fucking creative isn't it.
We walk inside and they find us a table right next to the fucking bathroom. Now I was furious.
Somehow though, the date ended up going pretty well. We talked and had a good time and I thought sweet, might get some form of action tonight.
So while walking everything is good. We are talking and holding each other and really getting along. So when we get to her car, I thought. Ok sweet, at least get a make out sesh minimum. No, she kisses me on the cheek and says goodnight and goes on her way.
I know this is contradictory but what a fucking whore. I paid our bill and walked her to her car and all I got was a kiss on the cheek and a cold walk back to my car through the flaming homo district of Toronto. Fucking fags, I asked for directions and they literally told me "keep walking North and you'll find straight" Uuuuggghhhh. Oh and P.S. if any gay person is reading this, why do gay guys always feel the need to wear a whistle? Just really random. Anyways.
So I figured I would just cut my losses and think "hey, at least I got another date tomorrow."
Saturday. This time so the girl isn't pissed off, I book a really classy restaurant a table at 730. I text her telling her to get somewhat dressed up and looking classy.
I vacuum my car, and make sure everything is good because this girl said she likes being treated classy and in her words, "like a lady"....... I know right!
So I go to pick her up at seven and texts me saying "just come to the door". So when I come up and see her house, I am like oh shit.
This house literally was a dicrepid piece of shit. I am not a judgmental guy or anything, but no lady or whatever would fucking come from a house like this. I have seen sheds classier than this place.
So I go up to what I think is a door and knock on it. She answers and comes out and low and behold, she is wearing fucking track pants and an American Eagle T-shirt. Fucking broad.
But seeing as how I went to pick her up and everything, I already am invested, so I just went with it.
We get to this restaurant. It is a candle lit restaurant with things on the menu I cannot even pronounce and a wine list longer than the actual menu.
Just imagine this image. I walk in wearing a long sleeved shirt with a dress shirt underneath and nice jeans with dress shoes. She is wearing track pants, an American Eagle hoodie, and running shoes which are probably from Wal-Mart. I wish I went to fucking Wendy's.
Anyways, we get to our table and I am looking at the menu and I said to be nice "order whatever you like" to be polite. I swear her parents or whatever didn't get there welfare check that day because she orders the biggest, most fucking expensive thing on the menu. A rack of ribs and endless bowl of garlic bread. She literally weighs 30 pounds, so I am not only pissed but puzzled.
So we talk for a while and she is nice and although dressed like a sewer rat, very attractive. She is somewhat intelligent and can actually hold a convo with her, good sign.
After we are done eating and I go to pay, she says "I have to go to the bathroom." I said so do I so we both went. I did not realize that ritzy restaurants have thin bathroom walls, because the guys urinals were right where the girls stalls were and all I could hear is a girl throwing up to her hearts content. She eats a $40 dollar meal and throws it right back up, should have gone to Wendy's.
I am taking her home, absolutely pissed. But on the ride home she says "wanna come in and watch a movie". I figured I did pay for the meal and seeing as she is bulemic, no gag reflex. So seeing the possible return on investment, I said sure.
I would go into detail but this is the short story on what happened. I went inside, shitty. Went to her room, shitty. Watched A Knights Tale, alright movie but combined with room, shitty. Start kissing, getting better. Her parents walk in, really fucking shitty. Dad looks like he used to play for the Buffalo Bills, fucking horrible. Me getting tossed into a fence, fuck my life and fuck my face.
Food - $100.00. Beers - $20. Gas - $40. Being thrown into a fence by a really overprotective dad......priceless.
This weekend just goes to show that dating is a waste of peoples time and girls should just realize that if you want a guy to date you and to have a solid relationship, do these three things that these girls didn't do.
First. Pay part of the bill.
Second. Let the guy kiss you on the first date.
Third. Try to find someone who is at least on your intellectual level, or you wont be respected.
